In Shame and Guilt, Tangney and Dearing investigated the difference between shame and guilt. Although these emotions are often used interchangeably, they show that psychologically, they involve two distinct experiences.
According to their research, guilt focuses primarily on behavior. A person thinks:
“I did something wrong.”
Shame focuses on the person themselves:
“There is something wrong with me.”
That difference has major consequences. Guilt can help people take responsibility, apologize, or change their behavior. Shame more often leads to withdrawal, self-criticism, avoidance, or anger.
Tangney and Dearing describe that shame is often associated with a negative self-image and psychological complaints such as depression, anxiety, and relationship problems. People feel smaller, inferior, or rejected. As a result, open contact with others becomes more difficult.
Guilt is usually less destructive because the focus lies on a concrete action rather than on the person’s identity.The researchers emphasize that healthy development requires gentleness and realistic responsibility. People do not have to be perfect to remain valuable.
Their work has become important within trauma therapy and research into moral injury, because many people after trauma struggle not only with what they did, but especially with who they think they have become.
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